


Within 100 Letters

by Mouthfullawhitelies



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: 2:00am drabbles, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, BUT THEY'RE PRECIOUS DRABBLES, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-24
Updated: 2017-06-29
Packaged: 2018-11-18 08:56:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 5,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11287944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mouthfullawhitelies/pseuds/Mouthfullawhitelies
Summary: To the girl I'll always love,may we meet again.





	1. Letters for Lexa

A shoebox laid empty and exposed on the hard-wood floor. The silent cloud of dust that settled on the surface of the box has now returned to the air. A foot away from the box, sat Lexa; sprawled out across the floor, against the foot of ~~their~~  her bed. In her hands, she held the contents of the box so valuable that it compelled her to pause the rush of her busy day. In her hands, she held not treasure but something much more, something that is priceless and will only ever belong to her. In her hands, were 100 letters: some were little notes, others were longer paragraphs. The penmanship of the letters immediately revealed the author of these notes, although she had already guessed who left the box for her before she even opened it.

 

The penmanship of the letters was painfully nostalgic, it was like looking through a foggy mirror and seeing a dream that you wished had remained and thrived. The sharp edges of some letters and the smooth curves of others unveiled an artist who, earlier in her life, had tried to learn cursive but deemed it a waste of her time and gave up. The ink was still dark as she studied each letter and its construction, not exactly reading the sentences and its words, but merely skimming. The letters of the words began blurring together, puddles emerged as the ink diffused through them, ebbing out like fine watercolour. A true masterpiece. 

 

Still, Lexa forced herself to read. Read past the pain of the memories, the emotions, the love. She forced herself to indulge in the pain as some final form of closure. The last indirect good-bye, the end of the longest, most painful, unforgettable... most happiest chapter of her life. Her tears dried on the letters, puddles seeped through the paper but eventually dried off. Smudged inks only deformed the ending of some words and not its meaning. Lexa shut her eyes, inhaled a long breath and after a minute, her eyes shuttled opened and she read.


	2. it's been a while

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the first letter

_To the girl I'll always love,_

 

It has been a while since I saw you... It's been so long since I felt you with me, your fingers tangled with my own as they melted into one beautiful story.

 

It's been a while.

 

It's been a while since I've seen your eyes, the electric green reminding me of life on earth. Making me want to spend more times outdoors, turning my paintings from people and buildings to trees and flowers and creatures. Would it really be a stretch to say that your eyes would've turned me into a vegan? The green in your eyes is so light sometimes, that it turns grey and I wonder if I fell in love with a goddess. 

 

It's been a while since I've heard your voice: the soft, clear voice that could soothe dragons and tame lions. I miss it so much, I haven't gone a day without aching to call you just to hear your voice. It's been so long since I've heard your voice, from the way you roll my name on your tongue and how it slips past your lips in a dark room, the moonlight pouring through on nights to the way you said goodbye for the very last time. 

 

It's been a while since I woke up to you on the kitchen counter. Slim, soft fingers gently wrapped around a warm cup of sweet, sweet coffee in an early hour. My oversized, paint-marked, t-shirt adorning your body. The curls of your hair, bouncing in its volume as the light gently weaves through them. 

 

It's been a while since I've seen you smile: the crinkles on your nose, lines beside your lips that made me think about how I ever survived every moment without them. Your smile is contagious as it makes me smile even if I didn't know what we were smiling about. 

 

It's been a while since I came home to you tired, sleepy eyes, still smiling back at me as you were sprawled lazily across our couch. I never liked that couch but when you picked it out, you were so excited and had the biggest smile that I couldn't dare to see it disappear, I couldn't help but fall in love with whatever made you that happy. 

 

It's been a while. 

 

It's been a while since you slammed the doors, the vibrations running through the walls and the floors, shattering my heart. You'd scream and cry and I would too, but by the end of the night I'd find myself wrapped around you. 

 

It's been a while since you showed up on a Monday afternoon in an oversized sweater that you dug up from the corners of my closet and a box of my favourite donuts. I asked what you were doing here and you just smiled and kissed me and told me you loved me. 

 

It's been a while since you drank a little too much at a party you didn't even want to show up at, but you still slung your arms around me and told me I had the prettiest, "blueist" eyes before I spent the night holding your hair back and helplessly falling harder in love with the girl bent over my toilet in the late hours of the night. 

 

It's been a while since I held you and told you it was okay when you decided that the Notebook was a little too heartbreaking to keep your tears in, you kept apologizing for being stupid and I just held you closer every time and told you that it was alright, I liked stupid. You felt embarrassed for the tear stains on my sweatshirt and I felt embarrassed for impulsively saying afterwards that you were the only woman I know to look so beautiful even when they cry. 

 

It's been a while. 

 

It's been a while and I still love you. 


	3. i still remember

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and so after the first letter, she continues to read onto the next note like it was her favourite book. Heart heavy and tears flowing freely, her hands shook as she continued her reading...

_To the girl I'll always love,_

 

I still remember the first time I realized I loved you. The realization struck both hope and fear in me: the future for us but also the power you had over my heart. I remember how unaccustomed I was to the exhilarating feeling being next to you: the flutter in my heart, the jungle in my stomach. I remember that night and I remember spending a lot of time thinking what it could have been if I had done it right. 

 

I still remember. 

 

I still remember the shirt you wore that night: a worn-out shirt merchandise from a band you saw in your teens and swore was extremely popular in your town. I remember the way you hair looked: soft, brown curls swept to the side. I remember the way your laugh somehow stood out from any other noises and suddenly everything around me began to seem irrelevant because I spent the rest of my time only caring for the girl who owned that voice.

 

I still remember how my heart felt in my chest; I was scare it would rip out and run away because you were standing there; in my worn-out, paint-stricken shirt, your hair was loose and wild behind your shoulders, as you talked about a silly dream you had that involved space shuttles and zombies and I remember thinking that I was screwed. Because while everyone complained about how you ramble too much, I realized I could listen to you talk for days. 

 

I still remember the way you slurred your words on our walk back to your place, you took my hand in yours and swung it as we walked. You asked me what was wrong, and why I had been looking at you funny all night, I told you it was nothing because I was afraid the words wouldn't come out right. 

 

I still remember.

 

I still remember how you asked me to dance, I said you've had too much to drink and suggested you get some rest but you pulled me along with you anyways and even though I couldn't dance and you kept stepping on my toes, I still felt my heart going crazy in my chest. 

 

I still remember the way you asked me to stay the night: puckered lips and a shy smile. I remember the way you fell asleep in my arms and I quietly told you I was falling, whispering it as if it was a playground secret, and it was. I remember a weight being lifted off of me even though you were asleep and probably did not hear me. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I somehow knew that you weren't. 

 

I still remember the first time I kissed you. We were on your couch and you were rereading your favourite book while I was sketching your side profile. I don't remember when I had stopped my sketch but the second you looked up and your eyes were on mine and my lips, I leaned in as a flower would to the sun and kissed you. I don't think I'll ever forget the way the air left my lungs, the way you took away my breath and stopped my normal brain functions. Our kiss was like the sunset: slow and certain. 

 

I still remember. 

 

I still remember when I asked you to be mine. I could've done it better; at a better place and a better time but you looked so beautiful laughing across from me with you hands and mouth messy from the seafood piled up in front of us that I just couldn't resist blurting out the question. You've always brought out the impulsive nature in me. 

 

I still remember the first time you said you loved me, it slipped out so naturally as I was focused on tattooing a Sharpie heart on your wrist that I almost let the words fly over my head. But those three words almost made my heart stop because just a few nights before you were talking about how the word was too sacred to be thrown around. You said that then and you say this now. I've came to the conclusion that your words can kill me in an instant and revive me in another. 

 

I still remember.

 

I still remember the first time I had seen you cry; you asked me how I could love someone so broken and different. You pointed out your bad habits and maligned your quirks and I told you I loved them all, valued each and every one of them. I even loved your flaws. Not a single lie every slipped from my lips that night, I meant every word. But if I had only known how it would end, if I had known how it would hurt...

 

I still remember.

 

I still remember falling in love with you like it was yesterday. 


	4. Do you remember?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a 100 letters and a lot more tears

 

_To the girl I'll always love,_

 

Do you remember the time you called me up at 3 in the morning? You had a bad dream and although I hated the cold, I still rushed out to drive to you because you know I would freeze if I had to; if it meant you'd be okay, if it meant you'd stay.

 

Do you remember?

 

Do you remember the night you met my parents? You took me aside and told me you couldn't do it but the moment my mother pulled you in for a hug, you smiled at me and I knew right from hearing the two of you bond over a book, that you were the only girl who made home actually feel like home.

 

Do you remember the time we fought over something as stupid as forgetting to do laundry? You told me i never listened, you hung up the phone and I hit the steering wheel and even though my hand hurt, my chest hurt even more because i hated the thought of arguing with you. And so I called you even though my pride tried to refrain me to do so but I just couldn't take it anymore.

 

Do you remember that time we almost got kicked out of a hotel? It was mostly my fault, you told me you wanted to watch the sunset and so I spent the next half hour convincing you to break into the rooftop with me to see the dusk fall. The sunset was beautiful, but the way your eyes glimmered in awe easily beat the sun melting into the sky in front of me.

 

Do you remember?

 

Do you remember the time you accidentally farted while we were watching a movie on my couch? You tried to play it off but we both burst out laughing and I couldn't help but think that you were everything I wanted for as long as I live. And this was the only thing I was certain of besides the fact that I love you. 

 

Do you remember the time you scratched my car? You were crying on my lap while you tried to apologize, but i only really cared if you were alright. You told me you were sorry, and that you would pay me but having you safe was payment enough already. I'm also sorry I didn't tell you that immediately, I was just trying to prolong having you on my lap. You were too cute. 

 

Do you remember the first time you left your clothes in a small drawer i never used? One shirt became two, and the next thing I knew I was sharing my closet with you. I didn't mind, my clothes began to smell like you and you smelled a lot like coconut and home, and I loved it. I no longer had to go out of my way just to buy coconut-scented shampoo and lotion.

 

Do you remember?

 

Do you remember your first day in your new job? You called me to tell me that you were sure your boss hated you already, though it was hard to believe anyone could hate someone with your green eyes and bright smile, and wouldn't fall for that heart of yours that went on for miles. Still I showed up at the time you were let off and took you out to your favorite restaurant because I couldn't stand the idea of you having a bad day (and I also missed you).

 

Do you remember when we went on a roadtrip for the first time? We couldn't agree on where to go and who would drive so we took turns and even though i drove most of the way and you happened to sleep all day, I didn't mind because not only did I happen to love the mixtape you made for us but i loved the girl curled up and fast asleep on the passenger seat of my car even more.

 

Do you remember the night you asked me why i loved you? We were in the middle of dinner and I was talking about my day and you had asked me in such a nonchalant way and I could only answer with an 'I just do' and although I could list a million reasons why you became everything I knew, and everything I'd ever want to know, I stuck to a simple answer because the way I loved you was far too complex for words to ever explain.

 

Do you remember?

 

Do you remember the way I loved you?

 

-the way you loved me?

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have pre-written (w/o editing) the next chapter and I think it will be the saddest of them all (or maybe it would be the last chapter) but yea, it's also the chapter where you can kinda tell what went wrong in their relationship. Anyways, I'll try to update tomorrow. love y'alls, leave comments, good night.


	5. I'm sorry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The concept of "shit hitting the fan" in form of letters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here is the first wave of angst

_To the girl I'll always love,_

 

I'm sorry I didn't tell you how much I loved you, even when I felt it all over my chest and my stomach, all around my heart up to the tip of my tongue.

 

I'm sorry.

 

I'm sorry for the time i didn't hold you when you cried, for getting in my car and leaving you behind. I knew you were crumbling. I was hurt, but I never should have left you when your heart was breaking. I'm sorry I ever left you, if I had only known how much it hurts to be left behind by someone you love. 

 

I'm sorry for the time i didn't show up for dinner because of a meeting i had agreed to, even though you had spent the whole week before planning and gushing about how you were going to cook me the best meal ever. You told me it was fine and that you understood but the slight crack in your voice and the look in your eyes was something i would always remember. You weren't fine, we weren't fine. 

 

I'm sorry.

 

I'm sorry for screaming, even when i knew you hated loud noises. I was tired, and you asked too many questions, enough to run my patience thin and i could tell you were crying as i laid by your side. I should have held you but I let you go that night.

 

I'm sorry for ignoring your calls, for pushing you aside and putting up walls, for all the times i called you irritating when i knew in my heart i'd rather have you irritate me for the rest of my life than not have you at all.

 

I'm sorry.

 

I'm sorry about all the promises i didn't keep, for all the nights you didn't sleep and for all the times you told me you hated me. I knew you didn't, but you were crying so hard and your fists felt like rocks against my chest but they just couldn't compare to the palpable pain I felt from the helpless look in your eyes. It broke me knowing that I had caused for that unsuitable look in your beautiful eyes. 

 

I'm sorry for all the times I wasn't there when you needed me, but i still came home every night to you waiting for me and i should have told you i loved you for it, i should have held you and kissed you and made the pieces fit but i ignored it, i got used to it. I fucking got used to it. 

 

I'm sorry.

 

I'm sorry for telling you that your new hat looked stupid when you had the biggest smile on your face when you showed it, i should have taken it back and called you beautiful but I kept to myself and watched the look in your eyes became dull.

 

I'm sorry for all the times i was late to our dates, the times i kept you waiting and even though sometimes I wouldn't apologize you'd still smile and kiss me and ask me how my day was, I should have recognized the feeling in my chest. I should have welcomed it back and cherished it. I should have known from the start that you'd be the only thing to make the world hurt less.

 

I'm sorry.

 

I'm sorry i got used to you, i knew i promised i would never and though my heart still leapt out of my chest every time I saw at you or every time you kissed me, i let myself fall into the cruelty around me. You were the only good i had but I was so blinded by the stress and frustration of work to see that. I took your love for granted. You were the only good I had and I screwed it up, I pushed you away and tarnished something beautiful. Though i didn't want you to, you should have left me then, you should've left me early.

 

I'm so sorry.

 

I'm sorry I forgot how to love you.

 

 


	6. Thank you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a long overdue letter of appreciation and love

_To the girl I'll always love,_

Thank you.

 

Thank you for loving me when even I couldn't. You stayed and held me, even when I didn't deserve it. You told me you loved me, even if we were broken. You told me love was everything we ever needed. 

 

Thank you for taking a day off work because i caught a cold, for making me soup three times in one day. You never liked soup, but you ate some with me that day. We fought about my medication because I was stubborn and refused the pills, yet you somehow got me to drink them anyway.

 

Thank you.

 

Thank you for surprising me with sushi, even if you hated it you still smiled so big at me and told me it was worth it if it made me that happy, I didn't tell you but the thing that made me happiest that night was you.

 

Thank you for letting me steal the blankets every night and for never buying a separate one. I loved going to sleep with your legs tangled in mine, I'd love anything as long as I had you by my side.

 

Thank you.

 

Thank you for waiting for me, every night. You keep telling me you were just watching TV, but on weekends you always sleep so early. I didn't mind, I didn't mind coming home to your sleepy eyes and goofy smile, I would have told you every single day if i had known this would all be sweet memories in a few months.

 

Thank you for being the good in my heart, for always pushing me to do the right thing even when it was hard. You told me to visit my dad, and talk to my mom. You even accompanied me to his grave, and held me when it got too bad. Thank you for letting me be vulnerable. 

 

Thank you.

 

Thank you for watching all those scary movies with me, it'd keep you up tightly wrapped around me and I'd tell you I was sorry and you'd tell me you hated me.

 

Thank you for always being the first one to give in when we fight, you'd kiss me and tell me it takes time but we'll eventually get it right. We never did, and you knew we never would but you'd tell me things would be fine and that you understood.

 

Thank you.

 

Thank you for always remembering to buy cereal, you knew I never would. You always made up for the times I came up short. I never told you I was grateful, I wish I could have said it more.

 

Thank you for being the only thing I was sure of, I had always been afraid I'd never fall in love but when I look at you my heart would stop and somehow I knew you were everything I wanted until the day I die.

 

Thank you.

 

Thank you for the soft kisses in the morning and the rough ones at night,

for the way you touch me and for the way we fight,

for the way you say you love me, for the way you make it feel alright,

for all the times you made me fall and for all the unforgettable nights.

 

Thank you, thank you, _thank you._

 

 

Thank you for loving me when I never deserved it. 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I made a rhyme^


	7. I wonder

_To the girl I'll always love,_

 

I wonder if you still like your coffee the same: no sugar, just cream. I wonder if you still hate your first name. I always told you i loved it, you said it sounded like you were an old English woman but I still think it's the most beautiful word I know. If I could, I would name every star in the galaxy that: Alexandria. You shorten the name but both versions still makes my heart flutter where I hear it. 

 

I wonder.

 

I wonder if you still sleep on your left side, if you'd still sprawl out in the middle of the night. I'd wake up with your legs on my stomach, a hand on my face and now I just wake up to a painful abundance of space. 

 

I wonder if you still bite your nails when you get anxious, that's why you never painted them you said there was just no use. You even tried to stop, but you fell back into the habit every time so i taught you a pen trick to help with the fidgeting. I remember the first class we had together when you were done with your exam and I, a terrible student who forgot about the exam, was still stressing over the 3rd question and started playing with my pen. You were intrigued and tried to imitate me, I could hear you from behind me dropping your pen every 2 seconds until the professor made a face at you and you stopped. That was the first time you brought a smile to my face. 

 

I wonder if you still cry over the same movie you've watched a million times, you'd sniffle then laugh and call yourself stupid and I'd smile and say you were mine. You had a cute crying face, but I never let a laugh slip out. I'd wrap my arms around you and you'd ask me why you keep breaking your own heart.

 

I wonder.

 

I wonder if you still hum the same tune, the one you picked up from a commercial one afternoon. You keep telling me it annoys you, but i hear it radiating through the air when i find you in my kitchen in the morning with a shy smile, the way you always do.

 

I wonder if you found a place to bury your hands when they're cold, if it makes you as warm as my shirts used to. You'd slip your hands under my shirt and let it roam on my stomach and tell me you loved how warm I was, it would tickle but i wouldn't mind because i loved having your skin against mine.

 

I wonder.

 

I wonder if some nights it still hurt to breathe, you'd shake and cry even in your sleep. I'd stay up the whole time, whispering that things would be fine and you'd sob and grab my shirt and that never failed to shatter my heart each time.

 

I wonder if you still drink the same when you go out, you used to tell me you'd stay away from shots but by the end of the night you were doing more than the people around us. I knew i'd spend the night carrying you home, but i wouldn't mind having you in my arms, i never minded having you to hold.

 

I wonder.

 

I wonder what could have been if we had done things right, if we never slipped up. If we never came up short, if we never gave up. I always thought you were the rest of my life, i always thought i'd wake up to your eyes and now i'm just waking up to an empty bed and sunlight that reminded me of your eyes.

 

I wonder if you would have stayed if I told you I love you more, if i didn't slam the door and leave when you told me about the distance that would eventually fall between us. Maybe i should have supported you, i knew how much it meant to you. Maybe i should have told you we would make it, maybe i should have said that we could fix this. I should have said all that. I should have never left you.

 

I wonder.

 

I wonder if I should have asked you to stay that night, instead of watching you walk away and fade from my sight. I should have held you and told you i couldn't breathe without you, i should have said something and now all the air in the world could never fill my lungs the way it used to, the way it felt with you.

 

I wonder if we were always meant to end that way, if i was meant to drown in all the words i never said while you found the shore and saved your heart, if we were meant to fall apart, from the very start.

 

I wonder if I hadn't ignored the signs, that we were too different to ever fit for so long. If I had never told you I liked you that night, if I never held your hand, if I had settled with being your friend. Maybe we would be alright, if I had just listened.

 

I wonder.

 

I wonder if I didn't love you enough.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is basically the end. it's v v sad so be prepared. I have already pre-written it. I just need to add some more ideas in and yea. This little drabble collection is about to wrap up in like 2 chapters (the last chapter isn't really a chapter). I'll post next chapter and the last chapter in the same day so I don't know if it will be tomorrow or Thursday. So STAY TUNED AND LEAVE COMMENTS


	8. To the girl I'll always love...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> here it is...

 

To the girl I'll always love,

 

I never knew I'd love you the way I do, you were always just a familiar face. A friend I never paid much attention to, I can't comprehend exactly when your eyes began to look like the sunset in the light, or the way your smile began to mess up my heart in ways i knew I could never undo, or when your voice became my favorite sound, next to the ocean at night.

 

Everyone always had someone, someone who stuck to them like glue no matter how long its been. Everyone had their own story of that one great love, that one person, the one they'll never forget. The one who'll always hold a piece of them, it sounded so astounding, so earth-shattering and ground-breaking. It sounded like fireworks and fancy dates, it sounded like intimacy and overwhelming passion. But you weren't fireworks or fancy dates, you were home and movie nights in our pajamas. You weren't intimacy and overwhelming passion, you were soft and gentle kisses, you were love in its purest form. I met you in the simplest way- I met you when we were young. I fell for you in the middle of a crowded, smelly bar years after we had met, while you were shoving drinks down your throat and yelling mostly incoherent declarations while you giggled to yourself and it had me wondering how I only noticed you now.

 

We weren't love at first sight, we weren't a forbidden romance thriving on the thrill of rebellion, we weren't broken and saving each other. We were just two people who had been too busy with life to notice each other, we were just another story of a love that fell apart. Maybe there are millions like us, maybe we'll fall into the inevitable oblivion of the rest of the stories of love that tragically went wrong, but nobody would ever feel the way i loved you and the way you loved me.

 

All the memories, all the whispers, the moments and promises, all our stupid jokes as we sat in a parking lot at midnight drinking cheap coffee in elegant dresses, all our destructive and carefree singing while i drove down an empty road with miles and miles of grass and fields surrounding us, all the movies we cried over and the nights we spent. Nobody could ever take that away.

 

We never had to be unique, we never had to be fireworks and we never had to be broken, we just had to love and I know i loved you with everything that i am but the thing with love is that it doesn't conquer all. As strong as it could be, sometimes it's never going to be enough. You can love someone with every piece of you, and get used to them anyway. You can love someone more than you have ever loved anything and still forget that when you're screaming at the top of your lungs with glass shattered on the floor and the blood gushing from your knuckles are as red as the way you felt.

You can love someone and it could still fall apart. I spent four years of my life falling in love with you, and even when i was uncertain, even when it hurt to breathe, even when it felt like water was filling up my lungs from merely the way you'd speak i kept falling but everything that falls also shatters, and everything that shatters could go back to the way it was before.I never fell for the girl in the pretty dress, or the girl with the nice body and beautiful face, i fell for the girl who always wanted to know how my day went, i fell for your stupid jokes and beautifully silly theories, i fell for the way you made my morning coffee and the way you sang in the shower. I fell for the girl I believed would someday be an amazing mother.

 

I never thought I'd have to wake up without you, I never thought I'd spend minutes everyday staring at the toothbrush you left on my bathroom counter as my mind and heart tugged against each other on a decision i had to make, I never thought I'd settle for the cheap coffee down the street cause I never could make it the way you used to, and it hurt to try. I never thought I would give up coffee completely, it doesn't taste as it did before. I never thought I'd come home to an empty couch and no sleepy smile.

But I do.

Maybe in a year i'll meet someone new, maybe in a year i'll stop wishing they were you. I'll stop criticizing everything they do, because they don't do it like you used to. I'll stop my heart from dropping when i still come home to an empty couch, and when they get my coffee wrong. I'll keep to myself the nights i wish you were still around, and i'll listen to our favorite songs.

 

Maybe you'll meet someone too, and they'll tell you everything they love about you. They'll do everything i wasn't able to, they'll make you smile brighter than i ever could. Maybe they'll love you better than i could ever do and maybe they'll finally get you to see yourself the way i still do.

 

I'll keep your pictures in a box, I'll keep it in my closet. I'll look at them once in a while, and feel a sense of home in it. I'll see the way you smile, the crinkles by your eyes. I'll hear the way you laugh, and reminisce when you were mine. When my kids ask me about love, i'll sit and tell them about how it felt. I'll tell them of a love that makes you feel like flying, a love that makes you feel everything. I'll describe the way i felt with you, i'll tell them the words i never said. I'll tell them about a beautiful girl, who had an even prettier mind in her head. I'll tell them what i learned with you, how love is never just butterflies and pretty things. I'll tell them its fighting and screaming but coming back in the end. Its not always kisses and i love you's, it's goodbyes and empty spaces and its doing whats best no matter what the case is.

 

I know you're out there somewhere, your beautiful mind lighting up every room. I'll be right here, moving on but always leaving a space for you. I know you're not coming back, and I wish you all the best. I'll keep with me the memories and words I never said and I hope you fall in love again, i hope you give it all. I hope you never lose your heart, i hope you won't be afraid to fall.

 

To the girl I'll always love, you'll always have my heart. I'm sorry we fell apart, I'm sorry it was all too hard. Maybe I'll see you again someday, once again in a crowded place. My heart will stop the way it used to and I'll still adore you just the same. Maybe I won't say a word, maybe I won't even come near. Maybe I'll love you from afar, maybe then my heart will be clear.

 

So to the girl I'll always love, I wish you all the best. You'll always be my favorite memory, you'll always be where my heart rests.

 

To the girl I'll always love, 

 

 

> _may we meet again._
> 
> _-Clarke_

 

 

 


End file.
